Quote and Question on Music and Life

Last night I was reading (re-reading for probably the millionth time) Pearl Cleage’s book “Mad at Miles” where she talks about her personal struggle, loving the music of Miles Davis knowing that he was a proud and self-confessed woman beater. Two quotes from the book really stand out for me:

“I wonder how much good all those poems about beautiful African queens can do in the face of a backhand slap across the mouth and a merciless rape in the bedroom of your own house.” (p. 2)

“Can we make love to the rhythm of ‘a little early Miles’ when he may have spent the morning of the day he recorded the music slapping one of our sisters in the mouth? Can we continue to celebrate the genius in the face of the monster?” (p. 19)

QUESTION: Is the music separate from the personal behaviour of the person? Rappers are being hauled up on gun crimes every day, R&B crooners are doing the dirty with underage girls and drugs are a rampant part of the industry. How do you feel about the music when you know about the artists’ personal lives?

I admit it: I am still struggling with R. Kelly – do YOU see something wrong with a little Bump and Grind? Help me out here people!

Click on the heading to leave your comments.

What’s Up Down There – Many thanks

Thank you to all of you who came out last Saturday to support What’s Up Down There at the Women’s Health Matters forum and expo. Can I tell you that the room was PACKED? It was thrilling to see so many sistahs ready to show and prove that, as Black women, we have our own way of dealing with health issues and our own culture around the discussion itself.

The only drawback was that we clearly did not have enough time. Half an hour is NOT long enough for us to get a true meeting of the minds going on. There was a lot of interest in having us come back to the forum for more time next year. If you would like to have the opportunity to connect again with Black Woman and Child at this forum, send an email to forum@wchospital.ca.

And there’s more on the horizon for What’s Up Down There so stay tuned. Get in touch with us – you can send us an email at bwac@nubeing.com if you are not already on our mailing list.

And a special thank you to Jacquie Cohen for the pictures:

WUDT – 1 and WUDT – 2

Major Controversy: Va-jay-jay?

This morning (at 6:30AM while the rest of the household sleeps), I am up working on my presentation for What’s Up Down There at the Women’s Health Matters forum next Saturday (January 19 at 12 noon, shameless plug, OK sue me). Anyway, I decided to look up the spelling of the word “va-jay-jay” since one woman brought it up in our discussion group, saying she heard it on Oprah and Grey’s Anatomy. Fair enough. Having no idea what I was getting myself into, I dutifully typed it into Google…and there the fun begins!

ALL kinds of definitions, blog postings and comments are on the web about what seems to be a very offensive term. People everywhere are riled up about the issue, which seems to be that instead of using the word “vagina” on a show that is obviously for adults, TV executives have chosen to create yet another nickname for fear that viewers may be offended or turned off by the word “vagina.” Wow, even in this day and age, nothing offends like a woman’s private parts.

I found it interesting because our whole discussion around What’s Up Down There was based on the fact that a majority of African women, Black women, don’t use the word vagina but we have other names for it that are often created out of our shame, our mother’s reluctance to talk about sex or anything having to do with sex. But my assumption was that while we were mired in all this drama, White women were out there, free-wheeling and dealing, using the word “vagina” with all the comfort and freedom of an unoppressed people with no barriers, sexual or otherwise, in their perfect shampoo, hair-tossing world. It was surprising to learn that even in that world, there are hurdles to overcome when it comes to talking about our…er…um…(cough) vaginas.

Here are some recommended readings. I suggest, if you have a chance, look these over before you join us on Saturday (at 12 noon…oops, there I go again with the shameless plugs). If by some unfortunate incident (such as, you live on another continent) you can’t make it on Saturday, TALK ABOUT THIS with your friends, your mother, your daughter, somebody! Just talking about anything can make such a difference in the way we move in the world.

(By the way, if you want a FREE PASS to the forum, visit www.blackwomanandchild.com — OK, I promise, that’s the LAST one…well, for this post anyway).

RECOMMENDED READING

• What Did You Call It? (NY Times, October 28, 2007)
• Term of Endearment: The New V Word (Toronto Star, November 1, 2007)
• Women and Words: Va-jay-jay – the latest term (Dollymix TV – see the video and scroll past the Google ads to continue the article)
• Word Boycott: Vajayjay (Jane Austen Junior blog) – “By condoning the use of the word “vajayjay”, we somehow imply that vaginas are dirty and offensive and shouldn’t be discussed in public.”
• Hooray for Vajayjay! (The Huffington Post) – “Vagina is a tough word that refuses to roll easily off the tongue. It has such a sense of taboo that nobody feels totally comfortable talking about it – not even women, but especially men.”

January Poll for Black Woman and Child magazine

“When I see a Black person in an ad, I am more likely to use that product or service.”

Do you agree or disagree? Click on the heading to post your comments.

On Happiness

Wow, I was just reviewing some newsletters we produced in 1999 and found a quotation by Susan L. Taylor. In getting ready to start the new year, I thought this would be a good piece to keep in mind:

“Stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off.

Stop waiting until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink, until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy…Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” — Susan Taylor

Suffer the little children…

On Saturday night, I took my children to a holiday dinner at my mother’s church. For the record, church is something like I no longer “do” for a variety of reasons, most of which have to do with the lack of analysis and participation in most churches. I grew up during the era of “don’t ever ask questions, just pray and have faith and trust that God has all the answers even if you don’t know what is really going on in your life and a lot of things just don’t make sense. Keep your eyes closed and stay on your knees!” Thankfully there are churches today that allow for just a little more participation that that! I have been to some of those and find them to be a good start. But I digress…

At this holiday dinner, there was good food and an excellent program! There was modern dance, spoken word, singing (good and bad!) and a whole lot of other fun activities — even breakdancing! Very positive. But one thing that struck me on the negative side was the way that many adults felt about the little children playing.

My three children along with three other youngsters were having a ball, running and playing in the hallway (outside the main room) and sometimes laughing and waving and joking (inside the main room). For their antics, they received many a disapproving frown, a lot of “shush!” and my husband and I were both approached (at two separate times) with a strongly-worded request that we keep the children quiet. It seemed to me that adults had a great appreciation for the children, as long as they were on-stage singing, dancing or otherwise looking cute and performing for the Lord. But outside of that, the children were seen as a nuisance and a bother.

Now I went to church for many years and I remember a lot of the Bible and the lessons that were taught. One that stands out for me vividly is “Suffer ye the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.” Is that verse out of fashion these days? I don’t remember Jesus saying “Suffer ye the little children to come unto me but keep their little behinds quiet or you’ll be asked to leave.” No disrespect but if they have as many stringent rules and regulations in the Kingdom of Heaven as they do in some churches these days…well, let’s just say that the experience left me feeling not too joyful. ‘Nuff said.

December Poll for Black Woman and Child magazine

Growing up, many people used different words to describe their “private parts” As a child, what did you call “down there?” How do you teach your children to speak about their bodies?

Please click the heading to leave your comments.

Special thanks to the seven sistahs who spoke out at the What’s Up Down There? dinner and discussion. And thanks to all the sistahs who sent in their responses to our questionnaire. Everybody is welcome to be there on Saturday 19 January 2008 for Women’s Health Matters. The What’s Up Down There? session is at 12:30PM in the Zoom Room 802. Find out more at www.womenshealthmatters.ca/forum.

Theme for World Breastfeeding Week 2008

Announcement: Theme for World Breastfeeding Week 2008 announced!

“The World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action has released the theme for next year’s World Breastfeeding Week celebrations. The theme “Mother Support: Going for the Gold” coincides with next years landmark Summer Olympics in Beijing, and was designed to direct focus on the need to support mothers in achieving the gold standard of infant feeding practices: exclusive breastfeeding for six months, followed by appropriate complementary foods and continued breastfeeding for two years and beyond.

 

World Breastfeeding Week is celebrated October 1-7 in Canada, and August 1-7 in the rest of the world.”

 

 

>> Sisters, let’s get on board with our own celebrations for World Breastfeeding Week. To be honest, I’m starting to feel a little funny about being the ONLY Black woman out at some of these events. If we’d feel more comfortable doing our own thing, by all means let’s do our own thing. Are any sisters out there organizing events for WBW? Let us know what you’ve been doing. Send some pictures!

 

 

I have to say I can really appreciate the theme. When I was a new mother just learning how to breastfeed, it really DID seem like an Olympic sport and, let me tell you, I was FAR from winning any medals! At least that’s how I felt anyway. But I persevered…if my son could remember, I’m sure he would be telling some pitiful stories about me. Yes, I stuck it out and now I am a breastfeeding guru with healthy children to prove it. Yes, when you see that woman nursing a baby on the park bench, in the shopping mall, in line at the grocery store, in church (before “security” escorted me out — no food or drink in the sanctuary, I’ve been told!), wherever…when you see her, come on over and say hi because it might be me. Then again, it might be somebody else but say hi anyway.

 

 

Find out more about WBW at www.infactcanada.ca.

Practical Application: RSS Feeds

Feel free to congratulate me! After I spent the whole weekend immersed in the world of eNewsletters, SEO, digital editions, old code vs. new code, SNS, del.icio.us and God knows what else, I came home to my three kids (and football-watching husband), headed for the kitchen and executed an admirable RSS feed!

RSS feed might mean something hip and tech-savvy in the online world, tonight in my kitchen, it stands for Really Simple Stew. Here’s the recipe if you don’t have a lot (or any) time on your hands:

• 2 cups of red lentils
• 3 cups of water or vegetable broth
• half a jar of tomato sauce (or whatever was left at the back of my fridge)
• seasoning (mixed herbs, bebere, Caribbean green seasoning,, whatever you have)
• 2 cloves of garlic, minced (or crushed, it’s faster)
• 1 onion, chopped (watch your fingers)

Put it all in whatever medium-sized clean pot or frying pan you can find. Bring it to a boil then cook, semi-covered, on medium-low heat. Try not to let it boil over (but that always happens to me, I just wipe it up and turn on the fan to get rid of the burning smell). When the lentils are soft, it’s ready (about 10-15 minutes).

Toss it over some couscous, quinoa or rice (couscous is faster — I pour it in a bowl with boiling water from the kettle and cover it. It will steam while the stew is cooking and be done right on time).

Well, my children ate it down and asked for seconds (OK, maybe they were just that hungry). It might not have been the RSS feed that I had in mind at Web Weekend but it worked! And on top of that, here I am blogging away. I guess it was a double success.

Welcome to OUR world

Wow! I am sitting in the lab at Magazines Canada Web Weekend, learning different ways to improve the World Wide Web Experience for our Black Woman and Child readers. I just made this blog! This is AMAZING. I am getting so many good ideas here. And sometimes it is great to know that my brain can actually get charged up theses days by something outside of breakfast, breastmilk, diapers, lost mittens and homework. Whoo hoo! Anyway, I’d better wrap this up or the presenter will think I’m not paying attention. In the next few weeks, I hope you check out our website at www.blackwomanandchild.com so you can see all that I’ve taken in this weekend. Peace!